The Power of First Impressions

The Power of First Impressions

I was thinking about a restaurant I visited about 25 years ago and was remembering that the first impression I had I was not good.  I went back to see it tonight, because I am planning a private party. Its reputation is excellent and people rave about the food. I had to check it out, because the location was great for our event. When I got to the door, it was so strange to feel that same negative way again.  The atmosphere, under the guise of eclectic, presented a confusing, strange, cold message; I just did not like the ambiance at all for the second time. I had made the assumption that the first impression I had was not valid any more, but indeed my impression was not altered by a second visit. 

What about us?  Do we take care to provide a positive first impression?  Truly, we may not have a second chance. Is this talk just about impressing others?  Does it matter if we impress others anyway?  These are questions that beg to be answered.

My twenty-one year old son brought a young lady to our home recently.  I know that I did not make a good impression on her, because I treated him like a child, at one point in the evening. She probably thought I was a very controlling mother.  I apologized to my son and asked him to apologize to her, but I will never have another opportunity to make a positive first impression with her again.

I think first impressions are very important.  They hold the key to a relationship in many ways.  If my first impression of you is that you are loud, arrogant or lacking in character, I may not give you an opportunity to get to know me.  If the first impression I make is likewise poor, you may not give me a chance to become acquainted with you. Thus, the relationship is halted or permanently destroyed.

Impressing others is not what a “positive first impression” is about. It is not about vanity or show.  It is about putting our best selves forward so that a relationship can be built with a person that is like me or has something in common with me.  It is like an initial screening for friendship or fellowship. 

The quality of a first impression is nurtured through the much maligned form of conversation called “small talk”.  Small talk is really some of the most important talk we will ever speak, because it is talk designed to seek a common ground for friendship.  It is an amazing, delightful experience to find commonality among a fellow sojourner.

I do value lifelong friends, but I always hope that I will present myself in such a way that new people would be interested in getting to know me and even more so that I would show others a genuine interest in them.  The real key to making a positive first impression is, of course, an outgoing concern for others instead of a preoccupation with self.  This is a fundamental way to overcoming shyness and self-absorption., too.  Outgoing concern is a secret to a lot of great things in life. 

Is this talk about impressing others? No, it is about making a genuine loving human connection.  Does it matter if we impress someone?  No, it is not about showing how great we are.  It is about being our best self at all times.  First impressions are about getting rid of some of our unimpressive ways so that we can let our “light” shine through.  As Christians, it is simply, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in Heaven.”