Cousin Nancy

           Cousin Nancy was born five years after my mother.  She was about a toddler when her young mother died.  When her dad remarried within the year, he did not want the child to know that his new wife was not Nancy’s real mother.  Therefore, he forbade any contact with his first wife’s family for fear that the truth would come out.

           This was devastating for my mother, who was an only child and had no cousins within a hundred miles.  She was not allowed to acknowledge or talk to her cousin even though they went to the same church and school for many years.  She was not to enjoy the friendship of her cousin, Nancy, a beautiful, sweet and talented girl, and she longed for this relationship.

           Mom certainly had an ache in her heart about this, as I am sure her mother, grandfather and aunt did as well.  They had tragically lost a sister and then they were not permitted to have a relationship with her child. Yet, they saw her regularly.

          Mom never had the opportunity to know her cousin until a mutual relative died and the attorney located Nancy for legal purposes.  My mother, in her late 70’s, seized the opportunity and the courage to write to her cousin a heartfelt letter and invite her cousin, who now lived on the East Coast, to visit her in Central Ohio.  One of the best days of my mother’s entire life was the day she spent reconnecting with her cousin after seven decades. My mother was so happy and genuinely joyful that she had done this. It was a delight to hear he talk about this meeting.  The cousins corresponded for about a year. Then, the letters stopped. Nancy was a victim of Parkinson’s disease and Mom of Alzheimer’s.

         The focus of this blog is this: take the effort today to mend an ache in your heart, to repair a breach, to reconnect with someone you care about. Sometimes it takes courage as it did for my mother, but you will be glad you did.  In doing, this you will likely find JOY!

        When I was growing up my mother would always speak of her cousin Nancy with love and sadness.  Those heartaches can be so painful. When my mother had her second daughter and youngest child, it was an honor and gift of love to name her beautiful and sweet baby (who would be very talented, too) with her mother’s name for a middle name and the first name of Nancy.